A local TV station ran an experiment recently with a group of teens at a Boys and Girls Club who agreed to give up their cell phones for one week.  Here are some of their reported comments:

Adults:
“It's on the phone, it's texting all the time, it's internet.  It's constant."
"I think, surprisingly, they'll learn they can get along better without that stuff than they thought,"
"I don't know what they're going to do with their time. This generation is so used to being completely in touch all the time, 24/7."
"Some people would say they learn to multi-task, but as a parent, what I see is the not focusing enough on one thing and finishing it."

Teens:
"I like texting. It's easy,"  "I do it a lot. Like every hour."
"It's a way to talk without really speaking."

Teens after giving up cell phones for a week:
"I get to interact in a way I haven't interacted in a while,"
"I feel like a just got a chunk ripped out of me,"
"I kind-of miss the feeling in my pocket."
"I almost missed my bus.”

"I've done a lot more, finished a lot more games with the kids than when I had my phone because I wasn't always texting.”
"Keeping myself busy so I don't think about it." (Joined a soccer team.)
"I got back to my artistic side."  (Started drawing again.)

Adults:
"Her ability to concentrate is so much better.   I mean, she literally is unable to associate with people when she has her phone." (Boss)
"Having to stay focused on a sustained argument over several pages or a long discussion is really different than just these short burst of texts."  (College Professor)
“According to a study by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, face-to-face communication is the second least popular method of communication for multi-tasking teens.”

So, what can we learn from this experiment?  One thought is that there are a lot of communication skills that are necessary for success in the 21st century, both in school, on the job, and in life.  Cell phones and other technologies are great, wonderful tools, but some day you are going to have to look someone in the eye and you better have some verbal communication skills wired into your brain so you’ll know what to say.   The teen brain is still being wired and experience drives what connections are made and not made.  It’s our job as adults to make sure that our kids have the range of experiences which will wire their brains for success in the 21st century.

Join the National Institute on Media and the Family’s MediaWise Network (www.mediawise.org).  You can download our free Parent Guide to Cell Phone Use.

Dr. Dave

I am on vacation until September 16th, so please check back after that!!!

Dr. Dave

I’ve had the honor of being at two wonderful weddings these past weeks.  I know the enormous amount of time and energy these two couples put into all the planning for their celebrations.  Checking off all the details for food, music, dresses, tuxes, decorations, table settings, flowers, etc. etc. takes months of preparation.  But the single most important parts of both weddings are the promises, the vows that these two couples made to each other.   With different words, both couples essentially promised the same thing: to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives.  What a rich and wonderful journey they are starting.

Every relationship, whether it’s a friendship, partnership or a marriage starts out with a promise.  If the people involved are lucky, work hard at it and are mindful in nourishing themselves as well as their partner, they will see their relationship grow into something that will enrich their lives for a lifetime.   

I also realized that some of the character traits these couples need are the same character traits that we talk about in Say Yes to No: being able to say no to yourself, practicing self discipline, persevering, looking at long term goals, and not needing to have it all right now, right this minute.   All these character traits come into play in helping a person enjoy, foster, and maintain good relationships with friends, work colleagues, or with a marriage or long term partner.  I knew both these couples well, and even though life always brings bumps in the road, I know they’ve got a good start.

Dr. Dave

There are some who think the only medal worth winning in the Olympics is gold. But there are at least two examples of silver medal winners who deserve gold for sportsmanship. Serbian Milo Cavic was the swimmer whom everyone thought came in first in the 100 meter butterfly. Somehow Michael Phelps’ lunge for the finish eked out a win by one one-hundredth of a second. Rather than crying foul, berating himself or bemoaning his bad luck Milo Cavic had the personal integrity to take pride in doing his best, congratulating Phelps and graciously accepting the silver medal.

The USA women’s gymnastics team was competing with the Chinese team for the coveted team gold medal when one of the Americans uncharacteristically fell on the final two exercises dropping her teammates out of contention for first place. The next day a reporter asked Shawn Johnson how disappointed she was that she and the team missed the gold due because of one teammate’s mistakes. Without a second’s hesitation Shawn responded that she was proud of her team and made the point that no one gymnast was responsible for missing out on the gold. “We competed as a team and we lost out on the gold as a team.”

One of the traits our kids need to have in life is the ability to handle frustration and disappointment without whining and complaining. While we can celebrate the achievements of stars like Michael Phelps we should also remind our kids that they should aspire to the types of gold medal performances in sportsmanship that Cavic and Johnson showed.  

Dr. Dave

At least one third of the new jobs in the next generation will be in science. Concerns about the environment, global warming, and crippling diseases are just a few issues on a long list that will need experts in science to address. That’s why news from the Minnesota Department of Education this week was alarming. Minnesota is the first of the fifty states to institute standardized testing in science for all its students. While the decision to test for science was good news, the initial results weren’t. Only 43% of Minnesota’s elementary and secondary students received a passing grade, far below the rates for reading and math. That mirrors the news last week that only 28% of entering college freshman is ready for college science courses.

These test results will no doubt spur some needed emphasis on science education in our schools. But we can’t just look to the schools to improve our kids’ performance. As I have written before, self discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence. That is especially true in science where focused attention and patience are key to learning important but difficult concepts.

It seems like we get reminders every day of how important it is for us to equip our children and youth with the skills and character traits that will equip them to tackle the tough subjects and prepare them for a life of success and happiness.

Dr. Dave

The 2008 ACT College Readiness report, released today, paints a worrisome picture.  Of the 43% of college bound high school graduates who took the test, only 22% received scores indicating they were ready for college level work in all four of the major subject areas.   The ACT defines a student to be college ready if they are likely to earn a “C” or higher in first year courses in English, math, reading, and science.  The average score was virtually unchanged from last year: 21.1 out of a possible 36.

The individual scores on the subject tests were also virtually unchanged:
 Only 53% of students are ready for college level reading.
 Only 43% of students are ready for college level math (algebra).
 Only 28% of students are ready for college level science.
 Only 68% of students are ready for college level English (down one point from last year).

There are a multitude of factors contributing to kids’ inability to read, and do math and science at a proficient level for college success.  High school counselors have reported to me over and over that kids avoid harder courses.  Once a course gets hard, they drop out.  Easy classes might keep a kid’s grade point average up, but these classes don’t have the rigor to prepare a student for college.  High screen time is also an enemy of reading proficiency.  You only get better at reading if you spend time reading.

The character traits for success are at the heart of Say Yes to No.  Kids who have self-discipline, who can attend to a task, who can say no to themselves will be better prepared to face the challenges of the 21st century.  These Say Yes to No kids will understand that success, even in school, only comes with concentration and hard work.  If the media values of “More, Easy, Fast and Fun” dominate, then success in school and life will suffer.  How do you think kids can prepare better for life after high school?

Dr. Dave

The latest community to start the Say Yes to No campaign is Muscle Shoals, Alabama.   The city schools began with a kick off celebration for parents in kindergarten through twelfth grades this past week.

I met with close to three hundred parents and staff and relayed the Say Yes to No message, emphasizing that:

Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence.  And it’s eroding in our kids.  Powerful cultural messages that scream “More, Fast, Easy, and Fun” are making it difficult for children to learn the skills of self discipline.  Parents need the skills to effectively teach children and youth how to “say no” to themselves so they can be successful in school and life.

Parents want to raise strong, healthy kids, ready to meet the challenges of the 21st century.  Say Yes to No gives them the parenting strategies that work.

Dr. Dave

Two recent studies, reported in the latest issue of Mind magazine, make the case for parents to say “no” to cell phone usage right before kids’ bedtimes.   Talking on cell phones appears to make it harder to fall asleep.   More research is being conducted world-wide concerning cell phone usage and children.  In the United States, researchers are concerned that children’s developing nervous systems may be more vulnerable to wireless devices, such as cell phones.

An Australian study showed that cell phone use activates alpha brain waves which are associated with concentration, and not conducive to sleep. This is not the same kind of concentration associated with homework or other conversation. The scientists believe that these alpha waves are activated so the brain can screen out the pulsed microwave radiation that cell phones give off.

And just how much harder is it for cell phone using kids to fall asleep?  The second study was done in England and found that people who talked on the cell phone for thirty minutes before bedtime took twice as long to fall asleep.

The author for the Australian study was Rodney Croft at Swinburne University of Technology and the English study included James Horne of Loughborough University.

US researchers fear children may be more vulnerable to wireless devices as their nervous system is still developing.

I’ve talked in previous blogs about the importance of a good night’s sleep for kids (and for all of us!)   Activities kids do before bedtime will help their brains prepare for rest.  And rested kids will be more mentally and emotionally alert the following day.  What routines do your kids have at bedtime?

Dr. Dave