There are some who think the only medal worth winning in the Olympics is gold. But there are at least two examples of silver medal winners who deserve gold for sportsmanship. Serbian Milo Cavic was the swimmer whom everyone thought came in first in the 100 meter butterfly. Somehow Michael Phelps’ lunge for the finish eked out a win by one one-hundredth of a second. Rather than crying foul, berating himself or bemoaning his bad luck Milo Cavic had the personal integrity to take pride in doing his best, congratulating Phelps and graciously accepting the silver medal.

The USA women’s gymnastics team was competing with the Chinese team for the coveted team gold medal when one of the Americans uncharacteristically fell on the final two exercises dropping her teammates out of contention for first place. The next day a reporter asked Shawn Johnson how disappointed she was that she and the team missed the gold due because of one teammate’s mistakes. Without a second’s hesitation Shawn responded that she was proud of her team and made the point that no one gymnast was responsible for missing out on the gold. “We competed as a team and we lost out on the gold as a team.”

One of the traits our kids need to have in life is the ability to handle frustration and disappointment without whining and complaining. While we can celebrate the achievements of stars like Michael Phelps we should also remind our kids that they should aspire to the types of gold medal performances in sportsmanship that Cavic and Johnson showed.  

Dr. Dave

At least one third of the new jobs in the next generation will be in science. Concerns about the environment, global warming, and crippling diseases are just a few issues on a long list that will need experts in science to address. That’s why news from the Minnesota Department of Education this week was alarming. Minnesota is the first of the fifty states to institute standardized testing in science for all its students. While the decision to test for science was good news, the initial results weren’t. Only 43% of Minnesota’s elementary and secondary students received a passing grade, far below the rates for reading and math. That mirrors the news last week that only 28% of entering college freshman is ready for college science courses.

These test results will no doubt spur some needed emphasis on science education in our schools. But we can’t just look to the schools to improve our kids’ performance. As I have written before, self discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence. That is especially true in science where focused attention and patience are key to learning important but difficult concepts.

It seems like we get reminders every day of how important it is for us to equip our children and youth with the skills and character traits that will equip them to tackle the tough subjects and prepare them for a life of success and happiness.

Dr. Dave

The 2008 ACT College Readiness report, released today, paints a worrisome picture.  Of the 43% of college bound high school graduates who took the test, only 22% received scores indicating they were ready for college level work in all four of the major subject areas.   The ACT defines a student to be college ready if they are likely to earn a “C” or higher in first year courses in English, math, reading, and science.  The average score was virtually unchanged from last year: 21.1 out of a possible 36.

The individual scores on the subject tests were also virtually unchanged:
 Only 53% of students are ready for college level reading.
 Only 43% of students are ready for college level math (algebra).
 Only 28% of students are ready for college level science.
 Only 68% of students are ready for college level English (down one point from last year).

There are a multitude of factors contributing to kids’ inability to read, and do math and science at a proficient level for college success.  High school counselors have reported to me over and over that kids avoid harder courses.  Once a course gets hard, they drop out.  Easy classes might keep a kid’s grade point average up, but these classes don’t have the rigor to prepare a student for college.  High screen time is also an enemy of reading proficiency.  You only get better at reading if you spend time reading.

The character traits for success are at the heart of Say Yes to No.  Kids who have self-discipline, who can attend to a task, who can say no to themselves will be better prepared to face the challenges of the 21st century.  These Say Yes to No kids will understand that success, even in school, only comes with concentration and hard work.  If the media values of “More, Easy, Fast and Fun” dominate, then success in school and life will suffer.  How do you think kids can prepare better for life after high school?

Dr. Dave

The latest community to start the Say Yes to No campaign is Muscle Shoals, Alabama.   The city schools began with a kick off celebration for parents in kindergarten through twelfth grades this past week.

I met with close to three hundred parents and staff and relayed the Say Yes to No message, emphasizing that:

Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence.  And it’s eroding in our kids.  Powerful cultural messages that scream “More, Fast, Easy, and Fun” are making it difficult for children to learn the skills of self discipline.  Parents need the skills to effectively teach children and youth how to “say no” to themselves so they can be successful in school and life.

Parents want to raise strong, healthy kids, ready to meet the challenges of the 21st century.  Say Yes to No gives them the parenting strategies that work.

Dr. Dave

Two recent studies, reported in the latest issue of Mind magazine, make the case for parents to say “no” to cell phone usage right before kids’ bedtimes.   Talking on cell phones appears to make it harder to fall asleep.   More research is being conducted world-wide concerning cell phone usage and children.  In the United States, researchers are concerned that children’s developing nervous systems may be more vulnerable to wireless devices, such as cell phones.

An Australian study showed that cell phone use activates alpha brain waves which are associated with concentration, and not conducive to sleep. This is not the same kind of concentration associated with homework or other conversation. The scientists believe that these alpha waves are activated so the brain can screen out the pulsed microwave radiation that cell phones give off.

And just how much harder is it for cell phone using kids to fall asleep?  The second study was done in England and found that people who talked on the cell phone for thirty minutes before bedtime took twice as long to fall asleep.

The author for the Australian study was Rodney Croft at Swinburne University of Technology and the English study included James Horne of Loughborough University.

US researchers fear children may be more vulnerable to wireless devices as their nervous system is still developing.

I’ve talked in previous blogs about the importance of a good night’s sleep for kids (and for all of us!)   Activities kids do before bedtime will help their brains prepare for rest.  And rested kids will be more mentally and emotionally alert the following day.  What routines do your kids have at bedtime?

Dr. Dave

Kevin Kelly of Wired Magazine posited a number of statistics that describe how quickly our whole way of communicating and often how we organize our lives have changed.  I thought I would pass them along:
 

There are 2 billion portals for entering the web (including cell phones.)
            100 billion clicks on the WWW/day
             55 trillion links on the WWW
             2 million emails are sent every second.
             1 million IM messages are sent every second.

Contrast this web communication with:            
 65 billion phone calls per year.

So if you think your phone is ringing less – it is.  We are quickly changing the way we communicate with each other.  This has huge implications for how we think, learn, teach, and relate in a quickly changing technological and social environment.  And in turn creates opportunities and unique challenges for parents.  What’s your favorite way to communicate with friends, family, and colleagues?

Dr. Dave

I don’t usually read advice columns, but this one caught my eye.  A couple’s dream wedding was to get married on the beach in Florida.  Unfortunately all the relatives, including both sets of grandparents, lived back in Michigan.  The groom was seeking advice on whether it would be OK to tell people not to bring a gift, but just give themselves a “little vacation in Florida” to come to their wedding.  

As I read it I realized that I had heard this scenario before…from friends.   This couple has a lot of choices to make and it all boils down to what they value.  Real choices in the real world always boil down to what you value.  Is this wedding only about the couple, or is it broader, focusing on family and community – how does this picture fit together?   Hard choices.  Of course there are lots of scenarios that could play out: beach wedding, Michigan reception…Michigan wedding, beach honeymoon…each answer sends its own message.   That’s why it’s important for parents to think about the values they want for their children.  Giving kids the character traits they need will give them the tools to be able to sort out life’s choices and easily see what’s really important to them, what values they are living out.

And what was the advice from the columnist?  “…maybe it’s time to learn to say ‘no’ to yourself.”  She voted for the Michigan wedding.

Dr. Dave