In my last blog I talked about Rowling’s advice on the importance of failure.  She surprised the audience again with her words on imagination.  But she didn’t talk about artistic imagination & filling your life with creative new worlds.  She talked about the ability to imagine the life of another person, in other words – empathy.

She especially exhorted the audience to imagine the lives of people who live near or in far and distant places, but whose lives are directly impacted by how we conduct our lives, in our communities and in our country.

Kids learn this lesson of imagination by learning to share, learning to put other’s needs ahead of their own.  This is how we raise caring, compassionate children.

How do you help your children learn this lesson of imagination?

David Walsh

I heard a graduation address last week from J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter.  We expected sage advice from her main character, Harry, but we got so much more.  She surprised the audience by not talking about her success as the author of the most wildly popular books in history.  Instead, she talked about the importance of failure and she talked about imagination.

She challenged this audience to fail, to realize that in life you will fail sometime, somewhere, if you have not already.  But not just failing for itself, but to learn one of life’s most important lessons.  Failure allows us to develop the inner resources of resilience – the ability to overcome disappointment and defeat, and to persist, never giving up until we make progress toward our goals.  Failing is hard, it can be painful, but it packs powerful lessons.

The lesson for parents and teachers is that we deny our kids the opportunity to develop resilience if we lower expectations or do for our kids what they could attempt to do for themselves.   Thank you J.K. Rowling.  How do you think kids can learn from failure? 

David Walsh

The graduates will get many congratulations over the next weeks and well deserved.  I add mine.  A lot of hard work goes into achieving that recognition, whether the graduation is from elementary, middle, high school or college.

But my congratulations go also to the parents, teachers, friends and families of those graduates.  To quote Dr. Seuss:

                                                    They’ll have places to go

                                                    and fun to be done.

                                                    Thanks to your help,

                                                    the game can be won.

Congratulations!

David Walsh

Kids are excited this first week in June.  Teachers are scheduling field trips and otherwise trying out lots of fun curriculum ideas they’ve been saving up.  Parents are looking at topsy turvy schedules for the next twelve weeks.  What’s the cause of all this energy?  SCHOOL’S OUT!   Kids, whose days have been filled from end to end with school activities, now face days with new schedules, new activities and yes maybe even time where nothing is planned.   This is a time where parents can really test out their new Say Yes to No parenting strategies.  Media often becomes the fall back child care option for summer.  Plan your kids’ summer media (TV, video games, and computer) carefully, so it doesn’t become the dominant activity for the summer. 

I tell parents to watch two things for a MediaWise summer:  quantity and quality.  Make sure electronic screens are just a small part of your child’s day and make sure that what they are watching or playing is appropriate for their age.  Especially check videogame ratings.

Summer can be a time for creative fun for kids.  One parent I know encouraged her kids to set up a mini golf course in the back yard.  The kids had a great time creating different challenging holes.  If you don’t have a back yard a living room or dining room will work just as well.   For more fun ideas, check out our MediaWise Summer Parent Guide.  Do you have any more ideas for summer fun for kids?  Share them here.

David Walsh

On a beautiful Saturday this past weekend scores of Latino families turned out at the East Lake library in Minneapolis for an afternoon of MediaWise activities from our early childhood program: through-u: Families are MediaWise®.

In the parent discussion group that I led there was one main question from parents: “What can I do with my children when they are young to help them be successful in school later on?”

The Say Yes to No and through-u recipe for success made a lot of sense to these parents:

            Þ Limit media.

            Þ Read and talk with babies and toddlers.

            Þ Establish a secure connection with babies.

            Þ Teach young children self discipline through limits and consequences.

            Þ Use No as a parenting strategy.

These parents were fired up and still talking parenting strategies with each other in the parking lot an hour later.   Do you have a pre-schooler?  What Say Yes to No strategy can you share with other parents?

David Walsh

Sometimes the Institute is involved in an event that speaks to all our efforts at the Institute. On Saturday, May 31 it will be time to celebrate a MediaWise® Summer – en Espanol.  

The through-u – Families Become Mediawise Program at the Institute invites you, your family and friends to a family-friendly Spanish-language event at the East Lake Library in Minneapolis on Saturday, May 31, from 12:30-4:30pm. Our program staff, along with the support of bilingual volunteers from our community partner organizations, will join together to put on a fun and FREE afternoon, introducing the importance of being MediaWise. There will be storytelling, a presentation to parents by Dr. David Walsh (translated), media-alternative activities, food and prizes. We are excited to share our new Spanish-language MediaWise materials with the Latino families here in the Twin Cities. Materials are also available through our on-line Store.

What activities do your kids and family do to have a MediaWise summer?

My daughter had an interesting conversation with her dentist this week.   It started with teeth and ended with Say Yes to No.

In the chair, mouth open wide, the dentist takes one look and asked Erin, “Were you born in the 1980s?”  A little startled, Erin’s first thoughts were, “Oh, no, there’s something wrong with my teeth.”   She tried that dental chair response - talking with your mouth wide open - “Yes, should I have been born in the 70s?”

“No, your 80s teeth are fine, but I can always tell someone born in the 1980s from the 1990s.  There’s a real difference.”  What the dentist said next, rang Say Yes to No bells in Erin’s head.  Her dentist went on to relate that starting in the 1990s, kids were eating more than their fill of candy and pop.  It seemed to her that kids had more money and fewer restrictions on the amount of sweets they could buy.  She also found parents more willing to spend money on the resulting tooth problems than work with their kids on self-care: like brushing teeth and restricting sweets.

Erin was startled by this, but left with the resolve that self-discipline for kids can start with the little things in life, like a piece of candy.    How do you think self-discipline can start for kids?

David Walsh

Several interviewers this week asked me, “Dr. Walsh, how can parents keep their kids safe online?”   What was interesting is that after I discussed family online safety rules and keeping tabs where kids go online, the interviewer would ask, “But, Dr. Walsh, isn’t that snooping on our kids?”

I have had this same reaction several times from parents.  My response is always the same. We are increasingly living in two worlds – the one outside our door and an infinitely expanding internet world. 

When kids open the door to venture out, an on-the-job parent will ask, “Where are you going?  Who are you going with? When will you be home?”   Parents set the ground rules for where their kids can go who they can go with, and for how long they can be gone.  Parents wouldn’t think of letting their kid out into the world without ground rules.  They’ll loosen these rules as their child gets older, but they don’t let go completely.

Parents need to use this same framework for the Internet world.  It’s important to find the parenting balance.  Just as you don’t follow your kids to a friend’s house, but you want to know whose house they are at.  You don’t bug your children’s conversations, so you also don’t hover over their online use.

But, parents should set the ground rules for safety and use of the Internet: where their kids can go, who they can hang out with, and how long they can be there.  It’s not snooping when parents know where their kids are in the real world and it’s not snooping for parents to know where their kids are in the online world.  

David Walsh