Here are a few tips to get your discussions on toddlers and preschoolers started. For more tips and a discussion model, please go to the toolkit!

Ice breaker: Give 3 index cards to each participant.  Two of the cards have a character trait gift written on them, the other has a material gift written on it.

Tell the participants that these are gifts from them to their children as they grow to adults. But, tell the participants they must choose – they can only give 2 of these gifts to their children.  They must discard one card into a container.  What gifts did you keep to give and why?

Sample character trait gifts: connection, fairness, courage, self-discipline, generosity, imagination, honesty, empathy, makes the effort, kind, etc.

Sample material gifts: Baby Einstein, Elmo toy, Disney movie, lego set, Dora playset, etc.

Three samples questions for discussion on the first five chapters of No:

1. Do you agree that today’s parents have a more difficult time saying No than parents did in previous generations?  Why?

2. What do you think the effects of “More, Easy, Fast, Fun” and instant rewards are on kids?  

3. No describes three styles of parenting: permissive, authoritarian, and balanced.  How would you describe your own style of parenting?

It appears Minnesota Say Yes to No is striking a national nerve. U.S. News and World Report ran a story in its September 17 edition on Minnesota Say Yes to No, and it continues to build momentum, not only in Minnesota, but across the nation. 

While Minnesota leads this grassroots movement, all signs indicate that Say Yes to No will spread across the country as soon as next fall. People are catching the Say Yes to No fever! Minnesota schools are joining the campaign daily, and we hope you are part of that excitement.

Together we are cultivating action and commitment that will create a healthy future for our children.

On Saturday, September 15, Dr. Walsh is speaking at a symposium for parents called "Media and Your Kids." This is a great opportunity to learn firsthand about Say Yes to No from Dr. Walsh, and to find fellow community members with whom to start the Say Yes to No conversation.

The symposium, organized by the Minnesota Association of Christian Home Educators, will be conducted from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at Woodbury Lutheran Church, 7389 Afton Road, Woodbury. The cost is $10. Register at www.mache.org.

Sharing our stories.
Since I wrote the book No: Why Kids - Of All Ages – Need to Hear It And Ways Parents Can Say It, many people have shared their “ah-ha” moments with me. Moments when the messages in the book really hit home. Their stories paint a powerful picture.

A father shared with me that his 14-year-old daughter ran up a $140 phone bill and simply expected him to foot the bill. A teacher told me she spends more time disciplining her students than teaching them U.S. History. A father faced a violent tantrum when he asked his son to stop playing video games and come to dinner. A mother realized that she couldn’t say No to her kids because she didn’t know how to say No to herself. Ah-ha.

No isn’t just a word, it’s a parenting strategy.
These ah-ha moments are instructive to us as parents. It’s when we realize that the media messages promoting “More, Fast, Easy and Fun” are powerful. It’s when we realize these Yes media messages undermine the universal qualities that we would like to see in our grown children. Virtues like perseverance, patience, commitment, determination, and diligence. It’s when we realize these traits don’t come automatically; kids learn them. And they should learn them from us.

Say Yes to No.
Setting limits and saying No isn’t always easy. That’s why it’s so important that we support one another, share our stories, and work together to reclaim powerful strategies that help kids succeed. Minnesota Say Yes to No isn’t about telling you what to do or how to parent. It is about sparking conversations, in living rooms, parenting classes, PTO meetings, and book clubs across Minnesota, about the kind of caring adults we want to be and the kind of kids we want to raise. The book is just a starting place. It is through reflection and conversation with other parents that you will develop No strategies that work for your family, your community, your kids.

The Hartford Courant ran a great piece by reporter Kathleen Megan on the excitement surrounding the start of the Minnesota Say Yes to No campaign.

The following are highlights from the article, "Learning to Say Yes to No:"

"[Fred] Storti,[executive director of the Minnesota Elementary School Principals Association,] said their goal is to spread Walsh's insights - and his 'parenting tool kit' of how to say 'no' appropriately - by making his book available at no or low cost and holding conversations with the parents, elementary through high school."

"What makes his message resonate for parents and teachers, Walsh said, is that research has shown that self-discipline is actually a stronger predictor of school success than intelligence. 'I think schools are really kind of at a crisis point,' said Walsh. 'They are held to be accountable for content under `No Child Left Behind,' but they are spending more and more of their time dealing with student behavior.'"

Please click here to read the full story: http://www.courant.com/features/lifestyle/hc-sayyestono.artaug14,0,1264108.story

Friday's Minnesota Say Yes to No announcement was seen by more than a million Minnesotans as WCCO and KARE profiled the launch of Minnesota's largest campaign to help parents to teach their children self-discipline. WCCO Radio also profiled the launch.

KMSP included an online story on its Web site. Jump to see the coverage of this important event.

Please click the link below to see Dennis Douda, of WCCO, report on Minnesota Say Yes to No.
http://wcco.com/local/local_story_229231023.html

Jana Shortal of KARE 11 reports on the benefits of saying No. Please click the link below to see what Minnesota parents are saying about Say Yes to No.
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=262395 


Click below to see KMSP's online story of the Minnesota Say Yes to No launch.
http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=4097777&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1

To help parents combat the culture of “More, Easy, Fast, and Fun,” the National Institute on Media and the Family and the Minnesota PTA today announced the launch of Minnesota Say Yes to No, a statewide campaign led by a coalition of more than a dozen parent, educator and health organizations to ignite powerful community conversations across the state and to raise successful, healthy and self-reliant kids. Starting in September, the coalition will offer parents an arsenal of tactics, explanations, and examples for using No the right way with their kids.   

“Say Yes to No gives parents and educators the tools they need to instill self-discipline in our children,” said Dr. David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the Family. “Too often our kids get caught up in the culture of ‘More, Easy, Fast, and Fun’ and develop Discipline Deficit Disorder. By helping parents become stronger parents, we can ensure our kids can succeed in life and school.”

Using Dr. Walsh’s latest book, No: Why Kids – of All Ages – Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, as a guide, the Minnesota Say Yes to No campaign emphasizes self-discipline as the most important life skill that parents and educational leaders can instill in children to help them achieve future success. The coalition is urging parents and educators to read the book and then seek meaningful ways to reverse Discipline Deficit Disorder. The symptoms of Discipline Deficit Disorder range from impatience, a lack of respect, and a need for instant gratification to inflated expectations, a sense of entitlement, selfishness, and falling test scores. 

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