I knew I was in trouble when a few flakes of snow prompted me to listen my favorite holiday music.  Halloween seems like eons ago and is Thanksgiving really next week?  My excursion to the mall leapfrogged me right into the holiday season.

Whether you enjoy every minute of the holiday season or just the thought of reindeer and bells makes you depressed, this is the time, right now to make your holiday list.  I’m not talking about your gift list or your  usual “holiday to do” list.   Get your favorite pen or colorful marker, some bright paper and gather your family around, if you can.  Headline the paper: What’s Really Important This Holiday.   Underneath this heading make three columns.  Label them: For Myself, With My Family, For Others.   Your paper should look like this:
           

Ask everyone to name one important activity or ritual to do for themselves, to do as a family, and to do for others.   What activities will really make this holiday season special and non-stressful.  What’s really important?  You might find out that your kids really enjoy baking cookies or decorating a tree or deciding on a toy for a local charity.  You might find out that you really want to enjoy a cup of tea, quietly reading the letters from relatives you seldom see.

If you find that your kids can’t think of one family ritual to do together, than take time this season to start a holiday family ritual that everyone enjoys.  It might be making popcorn and watching your favorite holiday movie, decorating together, making gifts together, getting together with one other family and sharing a meal and a holiday story, or taking a winter walk followed by hot chocolate.  Find something special that will mark the season and give your kids a memory to hold for a lifetime.

It’s easy to get caught up in a list of “shoulds” and get overwhelmed and over-stressed.  Practice saying “no”, if saying yes means that you can’t pay attention to this list.  The holidays are stressful, let’s face it, but you can be in control and limit your extra activities, cut back so that you have the time and the energy to do and to enjoy what your family has decided is really important.
How do you handle the holiday stress?

Dr. Dave