Say Yes To No
 Friday, May 23, 2008
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Several interviewers this week asked me, “Dr. Walsh, how can parents keep their kids safe online?”   What was interesting is that after I discussed family online safety rules and keeping tabs where kids go online, the interviewer would ask, “But, Dr. Walsh, isn’t that snooping on our kids?”

 

I have had this same reaction several times from parents.  My response is always the same. We are increasingly living in two worlds – the one outside our door and an infinitely expanding internet world. 

 

When kids open the door to venture out, an on-the-job parent will ask, “Where are you going?  Who are you going with? When will you be home?”   Parents set the ground rules for where their kids can go who they can go with, and for how long they can be gone.  Parents wouldn’t think of letting their kid out into the world without ground rules.  They’ll loosen these rules as their child gets older, but they don’t let go completely.

 

Parents need to use this same framework for the Internet world.  It’s important to find the parenting balance.  Just as you don’t follow your kids to a friend’s house, but you want to know whose house they are at.  You don’t bug your children’s conversations, so you also don’t hover over their online use.

 

But, parents should set the ground rules for safety and use of the Internet: where their kids can go, who they can hang out with, and how long they can be there.  It’s not snooping when parents know where their kids are in the real world and it’s not snooping for parents to know where their kids are in the online world.  

David Walsh

Friday, May 23, 2008 4:00:11 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  |  Trackback
Wednesday, July 09, 2008 9:05:03 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
But how does one know really where their children go? I can look at router logs to see what my son and daughter are accessing on their computers but with so many other ways to access the internet it doesn't seem like enough. My son accesses the internet on his Xbox and I have very little control over who he meets and with whom he plays. They both have cell phones with internet access and unlimited text messaging and I don't get detailed reports telling me they are just talking with their friends. I take their word for it. And I know there is a certain point you can go (such as hoping your children won't lie to you about a sleepover or where they are). Im worried with all the talk about cyberbullies that maybe something bad might be happening somewhere I can't even see.
Alex
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The comments expressed herein do not represent the opinions of the National Institute on Media and the Family or the Say Yes to No coalition members.

© Copyright 2009, National Institute on Media and the Family, Minneapolis, MN

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