The University of Minnesota released a study this week that found that for adolescent girls, sharing a family meal at least five times a week during the middle school years yielded benefits that lasted through their teen years.  These girls were less likely to drink, smoke or use marijuana.

A connection with caring adults is the most protective factor for kids.  It's more important than income, family status or religion. Family meals are a way to build that connection. It's the way that people have connected for thousands and thousands of years.  

What do we generally do around the dining room table?  We share the news of the day, we tell stories about our lives.  We connect.  It’s a chance for parents to let their kids know they care about their lives.  It’s a chance to listen.  Kids want to be connected – it’s one of the main driving forces in their lives.  If we can’t signal them that we want that connection, then they will seek it elsewhere.  When our kids were teens, we held that family meal time was important. Even when sports and activities made for crazy schedules we always made time for family meals during the week.  Now that our kids are adults, they still like to drop over for a family meal.  Besides a free meal, it’s our time to connect.

TVs that are on during the family meal will short circuit your connection to your kids.  All eyes will be on the screen.  Your chance for any meaningful exchange or your chance to listen to your kids’ talk about their day will be lost.  So keep family meal time, screen free time.

One interesting fact of this study was that this protective factor did not hold true for boys.  Family meal time did not predict their chemical use.  That doesn’t mean you should let go of your boys.  Boys have the same need as girls to connect, but, perhaps, in addition to family meals.

How do you maintain family meal time?

Dr. Dave