I spoke in a seminar class to a group of nineteen-year-old college freshmen yesterday about brain development and No. The students engaged in the topic immediately and I want to share their responses over the next few blogs because it’s important.

Here’s a quote from one student: “If I talked to my parents the way my 10 year-old-brother talks to my parents, I would have been in my room for hours.”

Teachers, parents, police officers, youth workers, child care providers, etc. across the state and indeed, the country agree that rude and disrespectful behavior is a major issue. It’s the top reason many of our teachers leave the profession after only a few years. Police officers who work with juveniles and in our schools tell me that kids’ behavior has deteriorated quickly in just the last five years. A pre-school child care provider is worried about the rude behavior and language she sees in her young children.

Emotional self-regulation, common courtesy, cooperation, respect, ability to work in groups – these are all skills requiring self-discipline.  Children need to learn how to self-regulate their behavior. Parents are the first and most important teachers. A failure to learn the lessons of No will have ramifications beyond the family and school and into adult friendships and work success.

What No parenting strategy have you tried?  Share your story.