Happy St. Patrick’s
Day! Being 100% Irish, St.
Patrick’s Day was always a special occasion in my family.
But being “special” is not always so easy. I get many questions from parents of kids
with special needs: ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome, etc. These parents feel like they get a double
whammy. Not only do they have the challenge of parenting a special needs child,
but they often feel like a “bad parent” because the usual strategies that work
for others don’t work for them and all the good advice in the world doesn’t
change that.
This is why I wrote a chapter in my No book (Chapter 10 – “Wired Differently: Special Needs Children
and No”) on using No with special needs kids.
Parents report to me that they are encouraged, and even relieved, after
reading this chapter because they learn the unique strategies needed for
special needs children. These parents need a lot of patience and
humor, love and energy, support and follow-through to meet their day by day
challenges. But with this, kids will
learn the how to self-regulate their emotions and behavior to the degree they
are able.
And as a community, we need to support these parents, not
blame them.