I had a question from a young mom this week:  “Aren’t you trying to turn kids into little robots with all this No and self-discipline?  Always obeying the rules.  Where’s the freedom to be a kid?”  It’s a good question and one we spent some time talking about. 

When parents use the No strategies, what they are hoping for is not a little robot, but a child who has all his or her inner skills at their disposal to be successful in life.  Children and teens are faced with choices every day, just as adults are and kids need the skills of self-discipline to make those choices.  Using No when you should will not turn your child into a robot, it will actually give them the freedom to choose.  A child who learns self-discipline is not at the mercy of the More, Easy, Fast, and Fun urges that can keep him or her from being successful in school and in life.

In the end what we hope for is balance.  Our media-driven culture has made the job of parenting so much harder.  Parents often feel more alone today without many of the traditional community supports.  That’s why we urge people not only to read the book No, but also to join in conversations with other parents, to help regain that support and to better understand how to use the No parenting strategies that work.